Over the recent Chinese New Year, there was a gathering, of the  younger ones; namely the cousins in the premise of our grandparent’s house in Malacca. They couldn’t be there with us, I wish they could. I would have appreciated my time with them more, listening to their stories and having conversations even with my atrocious Hokkien. My basic Mandarin would have helped in personal engagement but they have gone and I’m sure, they are watching over us from some distance, hopefully from above.

I took the opportunity to shoot the family portraits, the people, the black & white images; trying as much to capture the essence of Malacca, my Malacca. I fell in love with Malacca in the recent years after discovering the rich heritage of my home. Printers from second world war, how everything is still intact, how grandmother raised all her children with the fascinating with of hers especially in business acumen and home management style. I still have some of her writings, I can’t read nor understand them all but I have been wanting to explore them. very much.

2nd aunty called earlier, she was once a teacher, speaks very well. Her husband was a high ranking officer in the Transport ministry which explained our really cool number plates at one point in time. She is in her 70s and she received a gift, a portion of work that I have been dabbling on, a photobook of our family portraits. Nothing professional, just personal captures and interpretations of how I see family from my eyes. I don’t know, it’s just a silent reflection and remembrance of life in the younger years of the home.

It’s ironic that I appreciate family a whole lot more now than I did, when I was younger. Irony irony.

2nd aunty was very grateful for the photobook, and she thought of me when she looked through the pictures. The family portraits brought back a lot of memories for her, the days of her father, my grandfather, the moments of growing up (all these were shared during our phone conversation). We’re 50 over years apart yet we were having this sweet conversation to begin with.  She thanks God for my intiative, and applauds my personal motivation in taking interest in our family heritage and believes God has raised me up for better things. Very kind words I must say, I am humbled, and thinking back of my earlier years when I was an extreme rebel. I think they wanted to put me down and send me 6 feet under, honestly

Our conversation gave me another boost of encouragement although this is going to be a long journey, that my Malacca visitation over time is starting to bear fruit, the more I should start on that writing project of mine by conducting interviews. I wish I had the time. I need to carve out the time.

I will.

This is to family. Royal Press.

She also reminded me about my relationship with my father, taking a better setting with the fact that we’re working together so closely, spending many occassions together through our discussion. I am thankful for the change and we are hanging out a lot more and mom has reaffirmed that he is at peace with me by his side. He feels the trust and security needed, and reminds himself that at his age, he is still able to hang out with his children very much. He recently went jogging with my sister, I think soon enough, all three kids will join him.

Dad, we’re going to make this work. I am going to shine. This is going to be good.

It’s mid week Wednesday for me and I am tired!

I am still recovering from the shoot I did on Monday, more than 12 hours spent with the crew, I must say that it has been a long while I have been on set. The last, a KFC shoot about a year and a half ago, which I clearly remembered; I was rarely fed.

I had a much better time this time round, and the crew were some really fun people as well. I am grateful though, that the client liked me and their staff wanted a picture together (it was really quite a scene where warmth was present and coffee was abundant). I am thankful, that payment was made on the spot after shoot. Furthermore, the casting director from Thailand had mentioned opportunities for the Thai market and would send my stuff in for exposure opportunities. Now, that would be quite an experience.

It was a good break, from the corporate jungle, with my monkey suit. It was a nice change from the typical Monday blues. But reality hits, that I still need a proper job to support my lifestyle and what I do on the side, is well – the fun and moolah deal really.

I am tired though, considering there are things that I still need to handover here, I only have 8 more days and that would be the end of my Sara Lee career. Yes, I am turning in my red badge and taking a leap elsewhere. I have spoken to some people about the journey but not taken the time to write much. The reason why I am writing now is because I spent most of the day – crunching numbers and writing a paper. I needed a break. I feel very heavy and writing allows me to declutter I guess.

Pending ahead, some domestic duties await me at home and I need the home to be spanking clean again so that I can have a peace of mind. The lasting impression when you live alone is the impression you leave before stepping out the door. That pair of jeans isn’t going to crawl up back to its closet, nor the cup of tea on the dining table will wash itself and return to its safe haven. No, me working hands gotta go work its magic to see it all go away.

So, tonight, with some music – a lil magic is going happen at home. I like cleaning anyway, allows my mind to think and be free and I feel lighter after the load. Sadly, my bed is also a pretty thing that is very seductive and tempts me to hang my backbone at the door and crash into bed. I need to stand tall and get some things done.

Plenty of filing ahead, and organizing of data and info. They are in stacks in parallel lining with the books I need to read.

Travel plans are set in stone, printed itinerary looks promising and google gives me an insight and preview to the many spots I have planned. A lack of rest will only serve to be an increasing disappointment in the case that I fall ill and won’t enjoy my travels. Let’s not have that happen for any of us.

It’s been a sluggish week although I sweat profusely during shoot, I have yet to hit Pushmore this week and compounding pull ups are starting to scare me. My hope, get some duties done tonight and hit the bed sack while I freshen up the morning for a workout before work. It’s been I guess, a compromise, because the evenings are filled with the farewell dinner and drinks schedule; an accommodation of comfort really because it gives me the premise to have conversation and be in a much lighter mood. Funny how weighted occassions tend to align the hearts for discussion; be it light banter or over some red liquid in a decanter.

Oh wait, I am suppose to declutter right?

Yes, banking awaits me, I need to do some of that. More is coming out than it is going in, but opportunities are opening for more closure in kidnapping dollars and cents. The year has been an eventful one, it’s not even the halfway mark but I have so much that fits perfectly into a storage of memories.

An indulgent writing behaviour of mine has yet to be seasoned. My personal moleskine, a gift, is a nicely suited piece of journal that excites me everytime I look at it because I am about to discover myself as I continue to fill up those pages. Yet, I am trying to look for the most appropriate time to write. Too much going on, but everything is being stored in the mind. I hope it would not be my last moleskine because I think life has so much more to offer really.

Wow, I am feeling lighter, I think the numbers in me are falling off. I can’t get along with the calculator unlike dad who has permanent implant in his brain just like how I have a listings of wordy jargons or poetic bites that just keeps on churning. We’re different yet the same. I suppose.

Another capture that really took me by suprised was a comment left by – From a distance, who I felt wrote so poignantly in the few sentences that got me reflecting a year ago about my relationship with dad. Fast forward to May 2009, time has passed and it has taken its natural cause of healing or otherwise. I don’t know, but point to note. You never know when you write something, when it’ll come back to visit or haunt you.

In this case, it was a timely visit. Please, stay a while longer, help me declutter.