It had to be done.
This morning, I sent the box away. And everything else with it.
No turning back now.
I am a collector, of memories and sentiments. My baggage. Damaged goods.
I start afresh from today.
Perhaps, I’ll go places.
Just before I go, I have to be honest, it’s one of the toughest thing I ever had to do. But,
…it has been done. It had to be done.
I wanted to write, but I am just too tired.
My brain is just too drained.
I’m still listening. Be patient with me.
motivation. honesty.
Not to leave any stone unturned,
Moving cautiously,
Taking each step with passion,
Building patiently,
Motivation is the anchor head,
I’m listening.
Things are starting to move,
I’m turning to You,
Hold me.
I’m listening.
After a couple episodes of Entourage, and way past 1am, I was ready for bed. At least I thought I was, there’s still that little tugging in the heart, but I try to keep busy without thinking much about it.
The room temperature is nice to be tucked in now, but I do this alone. Just like many of my major crossroads now, I walk alone. Ironically, when MU got severely trashed by Liverpool; the theme song – You’ll Never Walk Alone is the one thing that comes to mind.
I was about to pull the curtains for the day to much of my unsorted accord and hope more will transpire tomorrow. I wait patiently. I pray, hopefully.
I saw an envelope and it hasn’t been opened yet. I knew what it was, I just wasn’t sure when the right time was. There’s wasn’t. It just is. I opened it tonight. It’s basically my MBTI charter which I wrote more than 9 months ago as part of my work duties. It was later sent to me 6 months later for my review. I’m technically 3 months late.
I turn 29 next week, and I like doing monumental things before I hit a new year therefore I prefer embarking on major risks in March. Somehow, I always ”feel” its my month.
I tear open the letter to find a charter I wrote for myself entitled:
What is ur commitment to MAKE UR MOVE?
Made today on June 27th 2008.
I found it soul searching to have read through what I wrote, that the charter which I have plotted in words had become reality. Some the above points were completed and highlighted which suggests that I have achieved the goals and have continued to press on.
I am more rewarded to know that the bullet point in the primary focus remains to be God. Even my daily doings has its own ups and downs. But I try, with His grace. I am reminded again, that work life balance is key for me simply because I do not want to succumb to the rat race nor be a victim of it. It’s not an easy task and I continue to struggle, but thus far, it’s been manageable.
I love creativity, it flows out of me and best in form of writing. I love the art of crafting and capturing the human sentiment, call it intimacy, touch but it’s something that has always engaged me. And I love sharing such moments, leading to my keen interest to always learn and listen to stories. The building blocks of conceptualization, from stringent observations causing one to paint through minute details would be described me if passion was involved.
Honestly, I think God is showing me some new pages in my life, they are probably written but I can’t understand them or read them well. I am merely snapping mental visuals and shapes of hope and faith, and that lingering trust and understanding is key. Patience remains the pivotal bookmark, and as I close for tonight; I am reminded that He is my author of my faith.
He is instilling once again, my inner desires, just like the joy of a little child, enjoying what he does most. I hope that open door will come soon. At least I found the letterbox, I await the next letter of peace.
But this will do for now.
p.s: personal touch always helps
p.p.s: <3 matters. I will keep it for her. whoever she may be.
p.p.p.s: God is sovereign, He will lead. Trust in him, have faith. Let not you be double minded but focus on His promises. I take it to bed and may it wax my sleeping dreams.
For the entire week, I have been exploring avenues that has caused my mind to take an entire paradigm shift. It’s hasn’t been easy, shifting gears when you’re normally aligned to a particular culture. Personally, I just had to try.
It’s finally the weekend, and the above remained status quo. The liquid of curiosity with a dash of uncertainty has some inclination to many of my questions, which rightfully remain unanswered.
But I was blessed on this Sunday, as how I have laboured heavy for the past 6 days in research and reading whilst neglecting (fairly) my duties at the corporate jungle, but it was something that needed to be done promptly.
The first blessing was from today’s sermon where for the first time I have heard a sermon on the 10 commandments. Usually, it’s just as a reference but today it was well served for my yearning heart. It was interesting to note that the God for us, with us and never against us has made them the commandments not as hard rule book, but spoken like words to us in love.
I was reminded today the structure that the Lord provides is good. As the week begins, I will reflect again, on those commandments, as a portion of His love and understanding for me.
I am the tail end of the day, tomorrow begins with a new push. I am thankful for the 24 minute conversation to help straighten certain thoughts and provided some peace and much needed rest of the mind and heart. I am most thankful, for the prayer at the end, which was indeed encouraging and to know that He is leading and guiding me on this journey.
My curiosity and passion lies in the maker who helps sets the new markers of my life. Thank you, Lord!
My last weekend was spent in Hong Kong which turned out to be a trip of near imcomplete rest. First, I nearly missed my flight! I had misplaced my passport and was on the verge of letting go the land of dim sums after a serious finding and absolute turnover of my entire apartment of search my passport to no evidence. I had rushed over to my parents to check if they had it and she was no where to be found.
Dejected, and at a loss, I was on the floor in view of the entire apartment looking like it got burglarized or a whirlwind tornado swept over, I opened the cupboard for one last time and saw this plastic bag with stuff and wondered what it was. After an unintentional search, I discovered my passport was inside!!
I flew out of the floor and launch myself out the door over passing every single mess I left around. We burnt some rubber and hit ourselves for the Sentral station. Thank goodness for the younger brother, I landed myself on the train at 4:30pm, and got over to KLIA at 5pm. My flight was at 5:55pm.
I ran, I climbed and I was in a deep search for counter G, and when I finally got there and threw my luggage over and checked in; I heaved in an unimaginable sigh. You have no idea, my friend. You have no idea.
Then an impressions came upon me. I met Mr Murphy in my head. That everything that could go wrong would go wrong in this trip and this holiday. I guarded my passport and my sanity till I got on the plane.
Oh, did I tell you I was drenched in sweat during that whole process? And, that I had showered before? Thank God, for Sanex deodorants and acceptable friends.
But I made it to Central.
Hong Kong did a couple of things for me:
I got that from the hotel, when I stared downwards through the window. It has the raw stature but you might think it looks tacky but after re-evaluating cost of living, we could be looking at a very experience piece of land space and hey, it’s at the penthouse further! :p
(Jeannie, Chor Wen, Xiao Yen, Chor Wu)
(Vuitton, May)
(and the rest of the gang enjoying our dim sum lunch)
My only comment on the shots are there is a consistent orange tinge layer over the shots, anyone knows why? I am trying to get this photography thing going and obviously I lack even the basic understanding on getting color right. Do help!
My final note on Hong Kong would be probably one of most interesting I came across in HK that only happens right below the bridge of Causeway Bay. There is a section where this particular Chinese ritual is still practiced termed as ”Tah Siu Yan” (er..how do I translate this – it basically means the ritual of cursing others). What happens is this, you pay a person, a professional to basically curse a person your behalf. The process involves the name being written on cloth and then placed upon a wooden support and then she begins slapping the name with a shoe or some sort and the chanting cursing begins! Take a swearing look below:
