1. Don’t play every hand. Choose your battles. Such as life.
2. Your time will come. Be patient. So is life.
3. When you lack knowledge and experience, you always pay to learn. Just like life.
4. When you’re down, the only way is up. Life is like that. 
5. Never be emotional and always have a cut off time. Life needs such parameters

Don’t gamble with what you’re not willing to lose. In this case, your heart and dignity. Well, you know what they say. Hearts don’t heal over time. They rust. I never got the rusted bit and I need a clearer explanation. Meaning it’s harder to fall in love after because you’re rusty; it’s like you have forgotten how to. Rusted by the condition of being guarded by past experience. Logical and pratical.

It was an interesting thought bubbe during dinner conversation and I had a more reflective sense of a poker game last night thinking about the above notion. And, that’s how the game is sometimes, how much are you willing to lose?

Beside being able to read people through the game (usually they don’t run far), you learn to read yourself. Being emotional, is a big NO on the table. Thankfully, for me, it’s more of lack of experience so that’s fine. I know how it’s like being emotional when gambling. I had my fair share of experience through the different efforts. Well, you do have to play to win!

But I am jumping aces.

I am also thinking. Thinking hard. About the fact that I may have the rockets pockets right now in the hand, I am thinking its best I fold. Why would you when you have everything going on for you? Simply because I may win big this round, but I might lose the game.

You never know when the poker face might show again especially in the game of love, it can get ugly.

I need to walk off the table. It’ll be a while before I will be swinging when I am winning.

Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up ~ Losing my religion, REM

I have not taken the opportunity to write as I so please. Life has been a busy train and the last time I remembered boarding this train, the ticket said – one way. And so it is, this is train of life for me. I haven’t had the chance to take stock on what’s been going on. It’s been a mix of both – silent avoidance and ignorance on my part. Perhaps, to reflect and to investigate takes up too much in my current capacity.

I fear this year. Honestly, I do.

I feel like I’m losing grip at the moment, things are beginning to slip away for me. Maybe, I am seeing them slip before me in view that I may hold on to something else. I don’t know, it’s never to easy to make life choices I know. This car is getting tired on the aimless road its at, at some points, there have been some great sights and glimpse of the sun, otherwise, it’s been mostly a dull bumpy ride for me.

Workload is compounding, the excellence for accuracy is beyond as I hold most accuracy loosely because I deem it as creativitiy. Call it creative expression or a skiving excuse, but I grind the bender at time in a non-comformative way. Am I a rebel? No. Am I liable? Possibly.  Are you able? Hopefully.

Hopefully, I am able to perform efficiently and effectively. One of the key lessons that I have learnt from Pushmore. The times when I fail to perform, I observe and question – why are my neighbours so efficient and effective in their workout. There are some standard foundation answers which I won’t go into here. But candidly, I answer my own case this way, “Long way to go brother…”

I single handedly picked up that to improve or be better at a WOD – one needs to acquire skills to become more efficient. Such examples:-

1. Learn Kipping to swap over strict pull ups. You can then join the group, or otherwise hang at the bar and die!
2. Learn Double Unders. Best reasons to swap over tuck jumps.

I am enjoying this learning challenge at the moment. For once, I could even barely see anything but the blue stars after the workout, I am now beginning to see the blue skies once again. There is an improvement in recovery. But way off for a better imagery. And, really, that’s the least until performance charges up like a new calvary!

When you rise up like champions, you praise the Lord indeed, like me:

If only I was always feeling all that well in all areas of my life, however such is not the case. There are some aspects that have been nudging me, and it results in me calculating a cut off time for myself. Some say, when you can’t cut it off, you shave it gently. I can barely lift a finger at this point.

In this timely reminder, the question that is thrown upon me is – Are you looking at the forest or you looking at the tree? In that perspective, sets your focus. For me, I feel lost in the forest with the surrounded trees. So what I am looking for? In the cloudy overcast landscape, I am looking for light.

As introduced earlier, I am far from the short poetic literature and in its essence makes it so powerful to live by. I am slipping, losing my grip and totally feeling dead tired because I can’t seem to progress till I fully accept what needs to be done and to be in total dependence that my life is not in my control, but He.

I’m sitting out like a cold turkey, waiting to be skinned if I don’t get my feathers together. I am dead tired.

…inspired by boardroom heartfelt conversations.

…just what we need to push on for the year.

…and you know what, I think we have what it takes to get there!

I’m sleeping on borrowed time. My body deserves a treat tonight – proper restful sleep.

I’m going to get a decent meal and tuck myself into bed after. I need to shut down so I can get myself some shut eye to function properly.

It’s going to be a long day. I await dinner.

A small contribution that led to deprived sleep however in essence was all worth it was catching with shanghainese in HK, fun filled chats which was a rarity. Obama was invited too and some butt cheeks. Go figure the similarities. But it was good, recollecting uni days.

To think I used to do 12 hours a week at uni and now averaging 50 – 60 hours work week, it’s such a far cry from the carefree days. From hook ups to break ups and all food matters, friendship still remains the core to relationships as agreed.

Looking forward to our HK catch up! And some Disney but the real fantasy, I say, are in the dreams we wish for.

I had a thought when the year began that I should be more intentional. I’m not one who remembers birthdays well, or buy gifts or wrap presents well. I felt I should at least make an effort this year. 

I had an opportunity to do so tonight, took the time while waiting for the food over dinner to write personal notes to fellow shadows of my workplace as I present our memory calendar as I would like to call it. Recently, the subject of personalization has come up very strongly in most of my conversations. And that most businesses, today, are about that. Most entrepreneurs, are about that. Every individual that speaks their mind or share their memories and feeling has an added touch of personalization to it. 

So I decided to personalized the intentional or perhaps the intention. 

When we begin to do that, suddenly things aren’t so personal anymore is it?

*it’s been tough writing potent entries because you’re so tired every time*

I am learning martial arts, it’s called Chinese.

I am learning the strokes of the biggest nation, taking pride that it’s the only population that spreads its offsprings as much as cockroaches are around. Yes, there are that many of us.

But there’s a group, a different kind some would say, and I belong to them – the ones who can’t freaking speak chinese!

After a light hearted conversation with my Hanyu teacher, there are always dreams that are meant to catch on and if possible, reach the stars for it.

I have loads to work on and I need to really push forward. So here I am, gonna go through the pain process. I am buying a good morning towel. No, not to wash my face, but to wrap it around my forehead saying that I can do it!

…Happy New Year

…it’s 2009

…I’m late, but that’s okay because I still have 11 months to play catch up.

I never posted an entry about resolutions nor an entry of reflections of 2008. But if you’ve read enough (the blog that is) and perhaps know me (well enough, I suppose. Never the time, just the moments I always say) – this blog is very much about reflecting and working towards some sort of resolute peace(?).

In others, this young man could always been in permanent dilemmas. And the year has begun in such. Oh dear.

During the very tail end of 2008, I had the chance to be around the best people before the year ended. Simply because, when you have powered through a heavy year, you realize that you have to clear  your leave and take them in blocks, you get one thing or maybe two – 1) rest 2) you get to choose who you want to spend it with

I did just that. I did both and it was great for the soul.

But now, the soul has begun to stir and I’m unsure what’s making of me or out of me. 

The spin continues but I can’t watch over it right now. I need to get some rest especially sleep.

Facebook is a powerful tool to connect and reconnect with what’s around and probably find your past and the light years before. Immediately, one will go, “woah…when was this? I can’t even remember now!” I never had one of those moments…till now

#bangsar

28.8 motorola modem

Use pillows and heavy shirt to stuff the modem crackling sound in your teen years so that you could IRC (inter relay chat)

Familiar? If you’re from my generation, you’ll know exactly what I am talking about.

Fellow brethren, Eugene a.ka. Wired has recently uploaded a stash of epic pictures of our #bangsar days. I nearly fell off the chair with my shots and I warn you now, hold on tight because I am still gasping at some of them.

The first I found was this (check out the mushroom hair do, btw, I am the one sitting down in case you try to be funny )

Trust me, it only gets better and I am just going to let the pictures paint a thousand words for you yea.

This was the picture that made fell off my chair. Goodness, I still remember my first and favourite swatch watch and to be honest – I had no idea what I was doing, who’s room I was in and…. (wired is getting back to me on this one)

The one thing I didn’t imagine being capture during my teen years were this, the part where I used to sneak out of the house using my neighbour’s access gateway by climbing over fences and going down through a rusty rundown stair case that would leave very little suspicision for any parent to even think that their child would pull something of like that.

I did it. And here’s the busted picture!

I pulled this off for a good few months till I got busted by none other than my sister! Grr. I remember the bitter rivalry we soon had after :p She always knew and kept ssh till I pissed off and she let out a big one on me. Double grr.

As Eugune commented, “I looked like a deer in headlights” but soon after when I got home I was a sitting duck waiting to be roasted by mum and dad.

Where did I go? In the wee hours of the morning - I only love to eat after all, and now I know why this particular fast food joint still has a soft spot in my heart, because I risked my life every time during those years!

A&W

So after all the mayhem in the night, eating at every mamak, traveling to look for haunted houses – man, I definitely outdid myself and here are finally the stash to show for it. I hear there’s more. I am waiting for them.

With this, I bid farewell with this impulse yet heart warming journey down memory lane, for me especially.

It’s time to go home.