The difference between you and me, is that I make all the difference.

Self subjection is only rejection.

And I even making sense, or am I just too tense?

watching the video was really disturbing.

Details at:
http://www.sun2surf.com/article.cfm?id=14837
http://blog.limkitsiang.com/?p=609

Check out the video at:
http://www.merdekareview.com/movie_show.php?sid=2


And I know we haven’t seen the last of it.

It is confirmed, after a month of intense physio averaging 2 -3 times a week. I have a confirmed appointment with a specialist this weekend. I have never felt so much discomfrot with my shoulder before. The physio helps, the but injury has dying old habits. Hopefully, with a more focused diagnosis, I’ll be able to heal faster and proper. The physio however, has been doing a great job with my shoulder. There are really some good days and bad days. This experience with my shoulder has taught me so many lessons, spirtual and life respectively. Once I complete this whole journey. Be sure that there will be an interesting entry on this. Meanwhile, please pray.

I have made the choice.

To clean up some important bits of my life.

Gambling. Drugs. No they are not it. I have cleared those ages ago. Don’t worry.

I think we all carry baggages, whether we like it or not. Sometimes, we just chuck into the store room (in our case, mind) and leave it at that. The blockage is never cleared, merely filtered because you change a new one. But can we buy ourselves new filters? We’re all we have really when you think about it. I say, it is our responsibility therefore to clean it up ourselves. We know the saying it’s all dead when the shit hits the fan. Well, same case here. Don’t go there.

I think if there is anything about me, is that I’m too nice. I don’t stand firm enough at times and always believe in the better of the person or situation. I still believe in that but I know that I have been jaded before but now, with maturity, I see things in a more focused view. No wishy washy bullcrap anymore, that’s all. Fair and sound.

I have decided to throw all all materials that have no emotional value anymore to me. Because, I am a person who is highly emotional, the things I keep tend to stir things back to the wrong heart. No, I am not craving for any past relationship at all. It’s just that I realize, why keep them when they don’t mean anything anymore. So yeah, everything is going to be thrown away. Or burnt by popular choice award but yea I feel that’s my choice and need.

I thought about it clear and through. I don’t want to carry anymore of this for terming it as ’sentimental value’ because I think it’s utter rubbish now. We’re suppose to live in the present not the past and if I have all these stuff chucked aside somewhere, why keep it in the first place if you don’t feel anything for it. Unless you do? Then I knew the answer.

Stalker S is pissing the hell out of me with her random sms-es during the wee hours of the morning. Mysterious caller does the same thing every now then. Mysterious A4 girl who leaves notes on my car when I go to the gym. Like seriously, what the hell man! I am quite up to here where people just laugh about it and think it’s all cool. Well, it’s not all cool anymore. Seriously, it’s not a fun or entertaining position to be at all. Sometimes, I feel as a Christian I should extend my grace and love, as a person I should be diplomatic handling any situation but I’m also human and I do feel real emotions, n honestly, it’s really annoying when I can’t be at ease within my own space.

Yes, it’s time to have a new garden. I am taking the stones and throwing it out the window. I was once a shaken leaf, and also once a leaf floating on water not knowing where to go. Not anymore, I’m going to have new roots!

Mr Ee Senior has been making numerous pit stops in my room for the past few days. He has been expressing a certain major concern over one of our members, which I shall not reveal here. To some, I have shared more personally with you about the current situation.

Anyway, dad has been taking away my sleep time because he is really drilling the bolts into the issue and also chatting about my work. I am very happy where I’m at the moment. I couldn’t ask for more. Great people, a lot of room to develop, handling a project that is exciting and a chance to learn new skills too. In a breeze, mum would always ask, “Are you happy at work? Do you really like this job? Are you at any point stressed up?”. I simply reply, “Nopes…everything is just great!” (in my mind, I am not working for Senior, that’s like a major relieve already :p)

However, I did share the same view on my work path with my dad. I had expressed my concern on wanting to develop strongly in my current job for the 3 years. To do things well and with excellence. My dad just said, “Consider this university, your management trainee position for 6 months is like your first semester, do well and do swell”. I couldn’t agree more, honestly. I am taking that same approach exactly.

What approach was that?

The approach where you have to make choices and cut out certain activities or anything else. The reason being is because time investment is being allocated majorly toward the corporate university. I need my rest and time for reflection. Being the INFJ that I am, I really need to recharge evermore under the ‘I’ quadrant. One person commented, “I though you’re energizer bunny and social butterfly kind of dude”. Well, yeah I am, I can be but that’s not the whole of me. Honestly, I am in the zone where I just want to come home after work, have a good shower, have my dinner, and read a book before bed. That’s it, no fuss and over the top activities.

So, don’t be surprised with my new priorities. It’s just life and just choices and decisions we all have to make sometime. I think I have spent enough doing a lot of other things and for others alone, but there must be a sense of balance and I’m not going compromise the most important quality of work performance or my lifestyle for it. We’re all adults anyway.

Grow up. Slow down.

I am on a new journey,
that requires the best of me,
Not like I’m part of any tourney,
But would love to excel and can be,

I am liking Sara.L a whole lot,
She’s been well and kind,
And I’ve been treated like we’re the same kind,
I really see myself with her
What more can I say,
When she gives me a parking lot!

So that’s work for me,
Enjoying it in the very bits,
That takes a lot out of me,
Ain’t no where near the pits,
Eat your words, lady,
Because I’m now singing a sweet melody.

I got this list from Z’s blog, I have never done this and I have time. Yes, work is really slow during the first week. I shall post an entry about work soon, you might just like where I am working at the moment. Well, I sure am. So here goes…

AWESOME PEOPLE I WANNA TO MEET:
1. Lee Hyo Lee (Hyori)
2. Sean Penn
3. Jessicca Alba
4. Jack Johnson
5. Sir John Laing

THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. The internet. I hate to say it but I think I’m addicted to msn. I need get my fix daily (crap!)
2. Food – I just love eating and going to the far ends for it, who’s with me on the next makan trip?
3. The gym and badminton – need a place to de-stress daily
4. My bed, pillow and the works plus a good dream
5. Water – I actually love drinking water!


WISH I COULD:
1. Sing and play a string of instruments without sweating in my misery and nervousness. When there is no gift, you just have to go with the ‘what if’
2. Be good and play competitively at the sports I enjoy – badminton, tennis and snooker
3. The ability to read and fully absorb and then make it sound, “Yeah, I got it all in me”
4. I could speak in many languages: Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, Thai and French
5. I could see my parents and close friends come to know the Lord.


I WANT:
1. To be able to work well at Sara Lee, and climb and learn as much in the next 3 years.
2. I want a holiday twice a year – a beach holiday and the other to see the world.
3. I want to be able to make a lot of $$ and invest in the things I have a passion for – the arts, giving scholarships to the people that need it. A string of properties so that I can personally have my touch of interior design.
4. To be well read and wise but with humility
5. A carreer where I get paid for sleeping and dreaming. Oh, there’s a waiting list?


HOW I SEE MYSELF IN 10 YEARS:
1. I’ll have my healthy and working shoulders again (I sure hope so, I’m going through hell for them right now)
2. Hopefully, I will have a home of my own.
3. Probably married (to the right person, I hope), with kids (twins preferred, if I had a choice – I always wanted to be a twin. haha)
4. Just looking a tad older than I am now?
5. Still alive and kicking, young at heart.

RANDOM FACTS:
1. I am extremely afraid of heights. I couldn’t even stand a cable car ride when I was in gentings. I took the ride up but the someone got the car to pick me up from the top to get me down. Yes, it is that bad. Somehow, I always have the feeling of wanting to jump off! Suicidal I know, well, I’m staying on low ground now.
2. I have fractured my left ankle n sprained it twice, discolated my right shoulder blade before, I have a crown on my front tooth, 14 stitches on my right ear.
3. I have eye lid days: my left eye will choose to have a single eye lid or double eye lid depending on her mood, uncontrollable. So some days I wake up semi-sepet.
4. I don’t like sweet stuff. chocolates are a no-no for me.
5. I was 48kgs when I was 17 years old.


MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ME:
1. I’m a good boy.
The truth: Looks are deceiving, I think I have probably done a whole stint of unbelievable stuff. But bygones are bygones.
2. I’m smart, hardworking and studious
The truth: I’m not! I’m actually quite lazy, and I don’t really have the brains. Again, looks can be….you know the word.
3. I don’t take personal relationships with much interest
The truth: I actually do, very much. I value personal relationships very much sometimes it gets the better of me. I don’t live by ‘why bother? mentality but by “I care”
4. I have always had it good in my life
The truth: you don’t know jack shit
5. I want to be really rich and super powerful in the world
The truth: I want to be able to enjoy life, and have the people around to have the same experience. But with all earnings, be legit and fair. I am not out to eat anyone.

WHAT I ENJOY:
1. Quiet nights with girlfriend
2. Not so quiet nights with the boys
3. Anything with high enery
4. R&R – I’ll do it all, the facial, massage, whatever scrub and getting a tan. I do enjoy doing nothing
5. Good conversation over drinks and meals


This is actually quite fun!