It seems to me that the months are getting better, February ends today with quite a finishing. I have quite a bit to update really. Let’s get right into it.

I just got of the phone with Raymond from Planet Films, the casting director involved with the Coke and Motorola commercial. He mentioned previously that the selected candidates will be notified by now, since I had not heard from him, I naturally called.

Before anything else, and also why I had to call him to check is because I have been offered a job as a copywriter, an online copywriter for TBWA-ISC. I’ll be handling the Tourism Malaysia account in which I have to gather some content materials to write about, and have a go at using the camera & video cameras for shooting. I’ll be working alongside with one other person who is more experienced and has done some short films (time to build bridges again). Tim, the director, and I are going to finalize things this evening when I call him later. There are some issues that I would like to discuss with him before stamping myself into TBWA.

Anyway, I digress. So Raymond and I chatted for a lot more this time, I think I managed to break the ice and got myself in his good books. I told him I have just been offered a job and I needed to plan my diary according. After which I told him the company I was working for, he knew the copywriter and that really broke the ice. I took the opportunity to get some information regarding the shoot and budget. They are rather discreet about sharing at times, or so I heard.

He explained the shortlisting process. There are three stages, in which stage one and two are done, I cleared both. The final presentation was suppose to be held today for the clients but has been reschedule for the 7th March, that means no confirmation yet. It’s good to know however, that I manage to get this far. He says I have a pretty good chance on this, “quite good” were his words. It’s for a feature role. It took me a while to get this out of him but I managed to – budget. He says it ranges but Coke pays quite healthily from RM400 – RM 3000 for their talents. This is the best part, he told me that Coke pays CASH straight after the shoot, no need to wait for 3 months for your pay. Previously, I had to wait months for the pay. I also got him to give me leads for future auditions, I think with this industry, you just have to build relationships and get them to like you. Then it’s easier to work things out.

So the big question is this – how do I balance the job offer and the potential opportunity for the ad, if and hope I land the role. Shall be praying about it definitely, things are suddenly coming in for me and it’s definitely not me doing it.

What else?

I have an interview lined up tomorrow with Dreamworks Acquisition. Sounds sexy huh, I know! I need to google about them a bit and look at my database folder on what I applied for. haha. It’s been a while :p

I have a casting on Friday with Shiroku Productions. I am going to try out as a Chinese talent, I think I’m required to do some hosting in Chinese or Cantonese. Honestly, I can’t read for nuts but I can speak fluent Canto. Even then, I’ll be miserable on set. Nonetheless, again, go for the experience and get the exposure. So I’m faking my way through on this. In some way, I enjoy this because it’s not a bread and butter thing for me nor a high end commitment, but just going in and seeing how things flow. Hopefully, I’ll be able to build another bridge across this one.

One day, I’m sure I’ll be able to cross over.

I have been having an interesting time at bsf and church. God has been placing something in my heart which I want to write and share about, I shall post it up soon. I think this issue shall be a great immediate reminder to many of us, if we ever want to get a foot in the door of someone else’s life as a christian, a potent spiritual convictor.

I usually write my long entries and then decide upon a suitable title. Today, I have done otherwise. New seeds, recent surprises – please allow me to share with you whatever comes to mind.

This morning, over breakfast with Francis and cute Ethan, I had the pleasure of meeting Sivin. What seem to be the occasional visits to his site now became a real, interactive and community-like of morning breakfast friendship. There was U2, mere christianity, supports in various thoughts and probably just an interesting morning shared. What better place to be than the coffeeshop. We chinese-mah!

For me, it’s always great to meet people who shares the same journey with me . What more one with a wealth of knowledge and experience which sparks my personal interest in seeing a shade of God in one person.

I spent the rest of the morning applying for jobs, well, I basically spent a great amount of time tailoring my resume for Procter & Gamble for their management program position and consumer & market knowledge manager position. God willing! I have definitely narrowed my interest to marketing jobs with MNC and human capital with potential firms.

I am needing to apply to a whole bunch of other companies just to get a feel of how interviews are being conducted for a certain reason – experience and people observation, that’s me goal.

With recent turn of events, I had to reprioritize my work availability till mid-april and I’m really praying and hoping things work out for me. Which leads me to this new seed, I have been given an opportunity to be in London & Birmingham with my dad from end of march for two weeks. We shall be attending IPEX (www.ipex.org). Also, I get to see London, and immerse myself in the West End – theatre & musicals! Yay, baby! I’ll probably be camping there to get ilham I’m really excited about this trip, hence the people I have been hooking up over soon to write emails. Hang in there.

I received a call last week to audition for a part in Malay drama series, ‘Realiti’ by Ping (Kopitiam & Getting together fame). They are sending me the script for me to read my part. My first secular script, nice! To think the months before, I went in from trying to be a talent to a production assistant. I gave up because of time clashes and penetration was entirely difficult. But a sudden change of wind, an opporunity. Thank God for sure, and I can only hope to prepare well.

My recent venture for a casting with Motorola and Coke, I called in earlier just to check on the status. I got shortlisted for the Coke commercial. If I do get the part, I’ll be shooting from the 13 – 15 March. And, with my braces coming off tomorrow, it’s like a green light path for tv commercials. Braces and on screen is a major no-no

Like I have said earlier, these are all new seeds, surprises sprung gently from no where. I am just thankful and knowing that some may not materialize, I just have to go ahead and give my best shot.

Group 26, that’s where I’m at for BSF. I spent the week working on the homework. I must say, for me, it’s been a great opportunity to learn about Genesis but what I gained most from the study was the meaning of ‘Holy Spirit’ and ‘light’. To be taught and revealed by the inspired word of God with the different layers of what spirit and light means, I gained a much richer understanding for myself. The spirit as a counsellor, interceder, a renewed heart with spiritual conviction has been the key themes for me. Light separates darkness, as a guide, a resource of strength and path for my journey has been comforting. I also learnt through the word of God, that indeed he created the heaven and earth because he first loved us, and to exemplify his love and creativity before us, so that we may enjoy his great gifts is truly magnificent.

7:30 pm. Tonight.

So February window has been with a surprisingly pleasant start compared to depressing January. Although, the final face off is soon, I’m daily preparing for the countdown.

Heads up, heads up now

One of my commitments this year was to be a part of BSF. I made it, tonight, at 7:30pm. This is memorable entry for I’ll look back after a year on what I’ve written. As I found First Baptist Church (FBC) right next to the Siamese Temple, I was surprised and quickly found sea of cars being parked all around the area. Manage to squeeze myself a spot next to the bushes in which if I had jumped out the car would probably land myself into the drain.

When I walked through the door I was greeted by familiar faces but probably my first time acknowledging and shaking their hands, Timothy Liew (Sarah’s dad I think) and Michael Yong (who invited me). It was nice to see them, they gave me such warm smiles. Maybe it’s the first meeting, the ushering package is at it’s premium

I didn’t realize or had forgotten that BSF, or at least the monday night session, were solely for men. So when I walked in, woah….and I thought to myself, now I’ll know what a sexual discriminated church looks like. Many grey heads and corporate people around. I was dressing Jap like again with my thongs, evisu’s and a brown top. They looked like they were attending a Phd class where I was a freshie in university.

When I finally got a seat after the speaker, Lim Leong Hock was chatting away, the person on my left spoke to me.

“Hey, are you the bride?”
“huh, what bride?”
“the play, the runaway bride?”
“Oh yeah, yeah…hi hi. Where did you see us?”
“At BBDU, the small church with the low ceilings”
“Ahh..cool, I”m Sw and you are?”

So that was kinda nice, to just break the ice. Like meeting new people, I’m from the Footstool camp…hehe. Another surprise was this, as I gazed further to my left, I met Ian Ng, who calls me ‘boy’ and which I fondly remember, “need work on the ‘T’s and diction”. It was nice seeing him again too.

“Hey Ian! Great seeing you here”
“Hey, (I think he was going to say boy but saw my name tag). I heard you outdid yourself at Temerloh”
“Oh, erm..yeah it picked up”
“Great work ya (crisp English)”

I sat next to him after that and we chatted away. He came tonight because he is planning to bring his son who is 13 to join BSF. I said wow, starting young. So we were kinda like hanging out first time BSF-ers together. Now, no need to be so scared of him. Previously at audience preview, gosh

He mentioned that he was disappointed that the easter productions of east meet west couldn’t take off this year with regards to sponsor issues. I shared with him further about what Footstool was doing this year too.

Anyway, back to BSF. We’re studying Genesis, for a whole year. I was like, wow. One book for an entire year. This is going to be really interesting for me. I’m excited. What’s more exciting is this, I see many men way ahead of me in age. A great opportunity for me to throw questions at them about life. I hope to grow from this learning class. Some people have other ideas about it but I think it’s fine so far.

I’ll have a look at the study materials tomorrow and see how everything is.

I met some other church people, which was really interesting, because I rarely speak to these guys. I am quite clique-ish at church so having the uncles to say hi and great to see you here is definitely starting to break the ice.

To my new commitment, in wanting to know God more because He first loved us. Happy Valentine’s peeps!

The shoulder is the most mobile joint in the human body. The joint includes four tendons. The purpose of a tendon is to hold muscle to bone. Together, these four “rotator cuff” tendons stabilize the upper arm bone to the shoulder socket and allow a wide range of motion in the shoulder.

Any swelling, inflammation, tearing, or bony changes around these tendons causes pain when a person tries to move the arm above the head, behind the back, or straight out in front.

I recently visited Green Chriopractor in Tun Sambathan, and the Greens (husband & wife) has identified the problem. My teres minor muscle and subcapularis muscle is inflamed from excessive workout and sports. These are the symptoms:-

Pain associated with arm movement.
Pain in the shoulder at night, especially when lying on the affected shoulder.
Weakness with raising the arm above the head, or pain with overhead activities (brushing hair, reaching for objects on shelves, etc.)

Dr Green has been treating me ice and heat packs on the affected ares and also with Deep Dry Needling. He has used some accupuncture needles and has targeted the affected area, puncturing holes so that blood may flow into the hardened area allowing more oxygen for better recovery. The stiffness and the scar tissue residue was formed during the earlier part of recover albeit unsuccessful. It’s usually after DDN, that I go for a 15 minute session of ice and heat session respectively.

Then I proceed to see Mrs Green (who is Malaysian), where she specialises in muscle therapy. She really hits the core of the tendons and muscle, and has helped me feel better. Although I’m not particular familiar with this kind of treatment, but at least it’s really hitting the spot.

I know that after a week with them, miracles don’t happen. I just need rest the shoulder more. Everytime after a game or from the weights, I can barely lift my arm pass my head and sleeping at night is a real sore pain. I guess I have to train differently now and probably pick up another sport, Taboo anyone?

Previously I had gone to a Chinese ‘teet-tah’ , which did help as well. But, I didn’t like the idea of only being able to shower about once or twice a week in this country. He would patched me up with herbal medicine etc and he would press on the affected area as well with his techniques and ‘chi’. It did give me temporal relief but never actually did sort it entirely. Maybe my misbehaviour on my part of not wanting to rest well could probably be so.

One muscle, behold the power it holds. Rest the tested one. Behold the human body.

It has been a few days since I last took the keyboard and jot my thoughts on this blog. Although I have used it for other things e.g. applying for jobs, msn (which I think I should quit) and replying mails and as a navigator on my extensive reading concerns. At this present moment, I feel like smashing the keyboard onto the floor. So I’m currently two hearts about breaking in raging fury vs. taming my human emotions for a better control of simply, being human.

I am just a lil’ edgy at the moment. Over the past week, I had attended 2 job interviews. One as a copywriter with TBWA and another with Universal Music doing marketing and promotions for them. The first will be graded via my blog, yea…the director is going or has been browsing my blog to gauge my level of english and therefore seeking to best fit me or in any case, able to fit me at all. I haven’t heard from him yet. o_O

Last night, I spent a great amount of time sending out job applications to FedEx, Sara Lee, Johnson & Johnson for various positions in those companies. This morning I spent some time enquiring and calling up companies like Univelever, IBM and P&G. There aren’t any available positions at Unilever, with IBM…Ms. Rosaini from HR isn’t there (I mean for peeps sake, at least answer the phone if u’re in HR!) and P&G has an extensive range of a website but just trying to call them has only proved one thing, their automated message system works fine, “Please key in an extension number or please hold”…..”Tuuuuu..”. Hello, at least let me get in contact with a human-lah, it’s as if I’m applying for a post in Mars or something.

Anyway, I digress. I tried calling up some banks too, although I am not keen on working with them but I’m sure they’ll give me a good overall corpoarte experience. I feel so torn not being the field but having so many minds about the various job positions. I just want to land something. Gosh, why is it so difficult for me!!

I have been seeking some treatment for my shoulder. Which I felt better and being the unsettling one, I ventured out for an outlet of passion and fun, a good game of badminton. I felt great during the game but the following day was spent with an ice pack. Yes, it’s gone again. Dang! (I’ll write an entry on this later)

I just feel flat from having every door closing on me daily or anytime I try to step out. *Boom*Bang*Shut*Boom*.

He is in control.
Sit with Him.
For a while, daily.

Closing doors, waiting corners, where’s the light? Maybe it’s not something for vision but quiet listening that will strengthen my stillness.

I got in to the gym at 6 when we were suppose to meet at 6:30pm. I had started my journey earlier in hope to beat the traffic or allocate time for it. I’m glad I manage to swing by along the smooth path to reach in peace.

I had spent the afternoon catching up with a friend, a person I take as a mentor and a buddy, someone I can trust to pour my heart to. I respect his thoughts and I think there’s wisdom and soundness in the response. And lunch was on him

I spent my time in the gym digesting the conversation I had in the afternoon. Much to chew on and probably there’s more to it than I thought. Every cloud has a silver lining, and from this experience, I manage to build stronger relationships with some people while letting go of one as well. That’s life. In my search for answers, answers of the unknown. There are certain things that I just have to come to terms with and let it go. Painful and disappointing, so be it. There’s a time and place for everything, I have to let my master write my life and not try to squeeze the pen out of Him.

I sat down with my mum tonight. She offered me a can of beer. I knew she wanted to talk. She had found out. She brought out pistachio nuts and we started cracking. We exchange thoughts and issues that we held dear from various perspectives. If there is one thing about me is this, I like to keep things personal.

Clearly evident, this is not happening in the blog. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I write, an outlet for me to vent. Fellow readers and friends, I can only ask that you respect what has been shared. I think there’s honor among friends, courage to speak and daring to be different.

I’m relieved that I got my point across to my mum. Although she has certain concerns, I respect her care and love. But I know what I’m doing, and I’ll handle it. It’s just this whole Chinese culture embedded into the family. Sometimes, it’s a one foot in and a one foot out kind of thing. I am being tactful.

At this point in time, I can only be single minded and focus. Keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus. I only feel secure there. When you have so many doors slammed in your face, you’re just tired of even looking for a window because you might just think it’s gloomy outside.

God is really cracking one tough nut this time, me.

…to all those from Melb uni who had Sean Pinder as a corp finance lecturer…

email from a student doing corporate finance summer subject

excuse me, can we shift our exam time one day earlier on Feburary 13th? it is valentine’s day on Feburary 14th. thanks for regard! happy new year and best wishes!


And response from the lecturer…

Dear Li,

This is such an important question that I felt that it would be important to answer to all students who may be affected by the very serious predicament of an exam being held on the morning of Valentines Day.

Hence: Dear all students (and especially those who may be romantically involved with another),

In setting the exam date for corporate finance thought long and hardabout the impact of it coinciding with Valentine Day. Would exampreparation be affected by shopping for perfume,flowers or the latestAnthony Callea cd? What about young lovers whoplanned on meeting for an early morning latte, a sugar-coated biscottiand a sharing of the Age’s Epicure section at Brunetti’s? Isn’t life hard enough withouthaving all the joy of the international day of lovers taken away by somecold-hearted academic eager to finish the exam period off and get to hissummer chalet in Dromana? For who was I to stand in the way of younglove, for wasn’t I also young once?With grim resolve, steely determination, a stiff upper lip, a hand offate, a nose for trouble, a tennis elbow and an eye for detail I putforward my claim on behalf of the lovestruck to the Grand Poobah of examtimetabling:

He-who-must-not-be-named-but-who-enjoys-setting-exams-for-large-classes-late-in-the-exam-period-so-as-to-frustrate-lecturers-in-charge”.

In his infinite wisdom he replied:

“But Sean, what of our students of Italian, Chinese or Brazilian origin?For surely you know that in ancient Rome it was the festival ofLupercus,the god of fertility that was celebrated by young lovers on the15th (not >the 14th) of February. In China, Valentines day is supercededby “The Night of Sevens” (being the 7th day of the 7th month of thelunarcalender) and in Brazil, June 12th marks the date of celebrating “Diados Namorados” (lit. “Day of the enamored”, or “Boyfriend’s/Girlfriend’sDay”). Surely my friend, you are not suggesting that we alienate younglovers from each of these other important members of the universitycommunity?” [Reference: >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's]

So, with head bowed and with great contrition I apologised to”He-who-must-not etc” for interrupting his musings on whether to set thenext lot of the exams under the clocks at Flinders Street Station, inthe Great Southern Stand at the MCG or in the roundabout on the cornerof Elizabeth street and Royal Parade and returned to my office.Students, and (specifically Li) know this: I fought law and the law won,you have to know when to hold and know when to fold them, love is abattlefield. Now it is up to you to put it behind you, to show that truelove can’t be beaten by a three hour exam, even with an additional 15minutes reading time.

Dr Sean “No-problem-too-small-(apparently)” Pinder

Regards,
Dr Sean Pinder
Department of Finance
University of Melbourne
Victoria 3010
Australia

:: Talk about a pre-valentine special I would love to hear some witty comments ya.

I have been doing a lot of reading. I have been reading the bible. More than ever before. I have been searching for answers. I have been reading the scripture and trying to understand as much as I comprehend. It has been worthy of my time. His time to be precise.

I recently read Ecclesiastes. It shared many great insights and written by Solomon himself, a man full of wisdom and wise indeed. A king, a teacher, a person who had everything and probably tried everything. Riches, power, women and great buildings and structures under his name. He had it all.

The bible reveals great truths about life you know. The human cycle repeats itself, our human nature is in us, the basic fundamentals on what people chase after in life, repeats itself. I have been wondering much about this. Yet Solomon wrote purposefully by addressing key issues about life, giving instructions and this one rings clear in my mind – fear God.

If anything I’m doing right is this, I used to buy books from the greats of the business world and great philosophers, I try to gain much about their written experience. But in the bible, I came along the wisest man in the world. What more than to learn what he has to say.

Simple, fear God.

I have changed. I have mellowed down, a lot. I used to be so ambitious, use to chase the world of riches and power, very much like chasing the wind. Where everything becomes futile. I am reconsidering many things in my life. I am asking myself this, what is my finish insight?

What do I want to become, and what am I doing about it. I never thought I’ll come to this point in life. Maybe I’m finally ready.

With so much happening around me, I’m glad to say I’m ok. Not great, but ok.

It’s been tough writing entries when your mind is so heavily bothered, the inflamed contracting thoughts that comes and go. Similar to my shoulder injury that has been aching for months. A good night’s rest is what I least have now – emotional and physical setbacks.

I have been wrestling so much with myself, with God. I’m only human and there are days where I am stronger than others. When I’m weak, I’m glad I find rest in Him.

I usually give insights and strong reviews about various issues. Sometimes, I even offer advice to the people in need. If I could offer anyone advise now, it would be – read the bible. I’ll go for the NLT version.

Read it as history, an inspiration of lives being changed over the various circumstances faced by the people. Make it come alive for you, put it in your heart when feed on the lines. I assure you, minutes with the bible has helped me more than the row of self help books around.

I wish I could meet the author of my faith.

I am telling myself to forgive you for all that you’ve done. It’s not for you, but for me. So that it’ll stop eating me inside out.

January has ended, a month of new beginnings, a once in 32 years of 3 new years being together in the same month and a week long break seems to gel in for one word – nice. For me, it has been one tiring month, a month that has placed me in a corner of doubt and great pain and hurt. In all darkness, there is still some light to be seen, in Him. That’s comfort and peace for you.

February is here. The last month has been spent reflecting about one of the most serious issue in my life and it has taken a toll on me. I have done everything I can for now, but I’m taking the next step. To seek counsel beyond the borders of myself. I believe it is needed, and the time permits.

I know my entries have been on the heavy-thinking-plotting side but I really can’t put it any other way. All I can say, it’s been tough and challenging but I am moving along the right way for now.

This month, I’m planning to get to the bottom of this. I have spent many months investing and the whole of last month reflecting. Now, it’s time for answers and to clear out unsorted matters.