Well, it was battered and scarred
An the auctioneer felt
It was hardly worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin
But he held it up with a smile
It sure ain’t much
But it’s all we got left
I guess we ought to sell it too
Now who’ll start the bid on this old violin
Just one more and we’ll be through

And then he cried
One, give me one dollar
Who’ll make it two
Only two dollars
Who’ll make it three
Three dollars twice
Now that’s a good price
But who’s got a bid for me
Raise up your hand
And don’t wait any longer
The auction’s about to end
Who’s got four
Just one dollar more
To bid on this old violin

Well the air was hot
And the people stood around
As the sun was setting low
From the back of the crowd a gray-haired man
Came forward, picked up the bow
He wiped the dust from the old violin
And tightened up the strings
Then he played out a melody pure and sweet
Sweeter than the angels sing

And then the music stopped
And the auctioneer with a voice that was quiet and low
He said
What am I bid for this old violin
Then he held it up with a bow

Then he cried out
One, give me one thousand
Who’ll make it two
Only two thousand
Who’ll make it three
Three thousand twice
Well, that’s a good price
But who’s got a bid for me
The people cried out
What made the change
We don’t understand
Then the auctioneer stopped
And he said with a smile
It was the touch of the master’s hand

Now you know
Many a man with a life out of tune
Is battered and scarred with sin
And he’s auctioned cheap to a thankless world
Much like that old violin
Then the master comes and the foolish crowd
They never understand
The worth of a soul
And the change that is wrought
Just by one touch of the Master’s hand

Some of us are planning a trip to Penang next week in conjunction with the CNY break. Anyone knows of a great place to stay with great pricing. Welcome any suggestions. It would be better if your father owns a hotel Let me know.

And if any of you happen to be around during that time, Feb 1-4 2006, let’s meet up then.

As servants of God, we must learn to make room for Him- to give God “elbow room”. We plan and figure and predict that this or that will happen, but we forget to make room for God to come in as He chooses. Do not look for God to come in a particular way, but do look for Him. The way to make room for Him is to expect Him to come, but not in a certain way. Not matter how well we may know God, the great lesson to learn is that He may break in at any minute.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealousy or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritatble and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

There are three thing that will endure – faith, hope, and love – an the greatest of these is love.

:: To be reminded daily, to allow God to speak to me but even before, to give Him room in my life to journey through my questions of uncertainty. Then there is that daily patience I ask from Him so that I may learn this new language of love. To see this language be spoken in all areas of my life. A daily love affair, for there is always room for one more.

I thank you for your concern towards me. Yes, you! I do appreciate it. The sms-es, msn messages of “hope you’re feeling better” and other comments. For some others, who have been listening to my rant and cries, more of you who have been praying for me and being patient with me especially when I don’t entirely understand the circumstance. Yes, thank you for that “winter coat” and hopefully in due time, I can get you all out for coffee over the summer breeze of my life.

Every little thing by Delirious is on my playlist blasting away to soothe me. This entry is just random blabbering all the way.

I am waiting to hear from two companies which I applied for. Popiah Pictures and BBDO respectively. One as a production assistant and to be part of a TV project, Realiti. The other is an accounts service executive for an advertising firm.

Of the two, with Popiah, if I take the job I’ll have to surrender my life for the next few months entirely not knowing my schedule and basically time ain’t mine no more. On the flipside, BBDO has more corporate working hours albeit long working ones but at least its really close to home. I love that. 10 minutes drive, quick and easy but parking is a living hell.

And, I’ll be working with a company that is 90% dominated by women. The interviewer, Sharon Anne asked me this during the interview, “Do you have any problems/issues working with women considering that the company is mainly dominated by us?”

I was like woah, this is a tricky question indeed, my quick mind started thinking and I replied this first as I was still cracking my head, “Hmm…do you want me to be honest or what?” (with a smile). She laughed with a yes in reply.

I said, “Well, from my experience working in group assignments, I had the opportunity to work with an all girl group once, Singaporeans actually. I found them to be actually head strong and strong willed people. They can also be quite dominating.”

She said, “Yeah that’s true.” I said, “Which part, the women or Singaporeans? haha”.

No offense to any of my Singaporean readers but you know, I had to save my ass here a bit. *Whew*. Well, I won’t let u know the answer, its for my keeps. But that really broke the ice and it became a rather comfortable interview for me. We’ll see what happens. Pray and hope.

I applied for another job today, with a pharma company yet once again. This time with MSD. Well, I am not banking on it but what the heck. I am desperate. Offers aren’t really coming in and the word is, after CNY brother, after CNY they will all come in. Well, I need something to fill up my time, honestly, too much for me right now ain’t good.

Speaking of desperate times, let me share with you what I have actually applied during my recent adventure of wanting to try out in the media industry. I have gone for castings in various production houses, I applied to become Afdlin Shauki’s personal assistant, got in contact with independent directors and mailed them, auditioned for student films. Anything to just give me a little edge. But you know, zero in replies. The star on this passion is slowly dimming secularly
It’s alright, I’m not too bothered and with braces, you can’t really get much done. Just a lil’ more, a month or two and its out.

But I learnt that it is to try and try again. And I like that fighting spirit to go on and on. That is why I love underdogs or washups or craps. Because I was once there and journeying to come through many struggles and obstacles and reaching the eagle point after to catch that sense of breath of fresh air is simply amazing.

I recently downloaded the home movie, Elvis starring Jonathan Rys Myers. He does fit the bill, i think its the eyes. And I watched the first half, it’s really good. As I watching I thought about this, I think in everyone of us, there is something that we wanna do, some secret dream that we want to reach out for. The world sometimes offers us that but yet again, we have to be careful.

There has been such a burning desire and challenge in me to really spur out for God ever than before. I have been looking for answers, I have been searching and I have been asking for patience. There is this whole wear and tear process going on.

Anyone who could recommend a source or commentary for Christian reading, it would be great. Something more than a study bible, something with more insights, more history background and a new shade to boring passages indeed. Leave a comment.

I mentioned eagles earlier. They say that an eagle reaches for the highest point of a cliff every 40 years. The eagles rests on that point, and there is where he sheds of his feathers and claws and wait for new ones to grow. Also, when everything is renew again, the eagle doesn’t fly off in the clear skies but wait for the storms and ride with it.

I think I’ll soar soon too. I am slowly shedding of the old baggages in my life, painful but has to be done. It’s been a powerful lesson for me and my relationship with God. And in times like these, I only ask for patience and strength, daily.

How can something hurt so much. Even with all the necessary supplement, the right focus, the scheduled plans, yet there is a burning sensation inside of me. It doesn’t seem to pass or let go, its just burning so deeply inside. It hurts to the core. I am totally sore.

I can’t rush it either, neither can I control my relapses. Sometimes your heart just prompts you the way it is and the emotional tide catches wind once again. And everything else, just washes through in sorrow.

Stand alone doesn’t work, community effort seems foolish, my daily reading seems redundant. Moreover, it’s undeserving of me to even first be in this place.

How can it be so cold. Too cold.

It’s been a rough year so far. Many have been saying how great of a start it has been, 2006 is. In my heart, a faint smile is barely visible. It’s been a year of defeat, a year of challenge and a time of lost.

I still wonder why am I blogging tonight. More like a spur of a moment. Tonight is a good buddy’s birthday bash in town, one of the clubs. Been friends with him for years, this year marks our 19th year as friends, yeah….we go back a long way. But I passed on the outing, not up for it, and not really for it. A quiet meal and proper conversation would benefit me more rather than boozing my night away with alcohol (as if I haven’t done that before). The effect of such an event may lead to some unforseen circumstance considering my current state.

Oh well, life goes on.

I wish I had someone to talk to right now, someone who knew the matters of my heart and could give me the immediate comfort that I need. Be strong, be courageous, I am reminded of this through scripture and life lessons.

Once again, the year has started off with a tough hill to climb, I’m barely picking up speed. Little by little, day by day, may worries go away and clear views ahead.

I shall take heart.

What is the world turning into.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/1/16/nation/13121615&sec=nation

I am saddened by this. I also worry.

For me, it’s about running the extra mile….for no extra reason. And, that makes all the difference.

Look at the stone cutter, hammering away at the rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that gone before – Jacob Riis

In confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always win – not through strength but through perseverance.

Dad share an interesting story with me yesterday night upon returning from bible study. I think the email speaks for itself. I have taken selected portions of it.

Hi Mr Ee.

Firstly, a happy new year to you and your family. It was very nice meeting you in your restaurant in Malaysia during my visit to Heidelberg.

As promised, I have checked with my father after he returned to Hong Kong to see whether you were the Part Time who helped him in his take-away in 1971 and having seen your photos, he said you were the guy! So, what we have speculated was correct and that the shop you have worked, called Happy Garden and it is still there today in Rickmansworth. My father remembered what you looked like and that he said what a great guy you were, as well as the family ******** business in Malaysia that you have. He said he fondly remembered the way that you have worked hard and have managed to save money even when you were living abroad in UK, to invest in the stock market. What a coincidence and so strange that we managed to meet in Malaysia!

The person who wrote the email was his son. In his early thirties, working for Kodak who was in Malaysia for a site visit. The Malaysian counterparts and him had dinner with my dad and casual conversation became a rather stunning walk down memory lane. It gave him some ‘ummmph’ he says.

Dad only said this to me, I hope that in 35 years after I’m long gone, someone will remember you in you good name. I never found it demeaning in my life to work as a waiter or anything else, I just do my job and work doubly hard. Because I know what I want, its not about the wealth or money. Its simply about one’s character.

Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. – Frank Outlaw

Some people speak from experience; others, from experience, don’t speak. I need to learn how to do the latter. Sometimes you have to be quiet to be heard.

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Stop your anger!
Turn from your rage!
Do not envy others -
it only leads to harm.

The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord
He delights in every detail of their lives
Don’t be impatient for the LORD to act!
Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you, giving you the land.
He saves them,
And they find shelter in him.

I managed to catch up with Douglas yesterday over at Coffee Bean in Hartamas, parking is simply ridiculous over there! Yes, Douglas Lim of Kopitiam fame. So there we were talking away, just chatting about life and stuff. He still seems to be the funny dude I know.

We were talking about taking boxing lessons, as he first shared his interest. I agreed with him that it’s a great activity to get yourself back in shape. Have you seen his new ‘let’s get pregnant’ image…haha Anyway, he said, “Yeah yeah…boxing is good lah, I want to learn how to take a few punches lah. You know after all, I’m getting married…it is quite essential”. Haha..I simply laughed.

We talked about his experience in the entertainment industry, about the various celebrities, upcoming directors and what nots. So we shared certain sentiments in some areas and maybe not in others. I also wanted to get to know more about the industry and he went on sharing his experience on how he first started out.

Everyone starts somewhere and its usually from the bottom. Nonetheless, that meeting was an eventful one for me.

Later at night, I had bible study and it was an interesting night for me. We’re studying Sermon on the Mount. I’ll share with you my findings on the next entry. Stay tuned!